May 2013
You: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mum."
Friend1: "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Friend2: "come back to bed"
Friend3: *various sex noises*
Friend4: "tell her I said hi"
Friend5: "Aye! Pass The Weed."
Friend 6: *blasting out curse words*
Friend 7: "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON"
sneaky-trickster-one:
mammograms:
you get home from school. both of your parents are sitting in your room. “we need to talk.” they say calmly. “we’ve been following your blog for two months now.”
sonic-all-the-angels:
bartimanus:
wontonpoop:
Pretty girls with long hair!! Stop cutting that shit off!! Boys don’t wanna date girls with boys haircuts!! Sorry!!
what if…everything is not about men
What I hate about being a girl:
little-drops-of-sunshine:
missrenaaa:
Periods
Period cramps
Sore tits
Mood swings
Picking out outfits for the day
Styling hair after showering
Having a hard time running cause of your tits
Making sure you don’t get pregnant
Carrying the baby
Being called a bitch, whore, hoe for no apparent reason
Make sure you don’t get raped
Having pedophiles hit on you
Oh, and fancying the fuck...
baconllamatimelord:
masasexual:
marciewantsthev:
masasexual:
Imagine that you’re awkwardly sitting there at a formal dance when suddenly you see a hand extended towards you. ”May I have this dance?” they ask. You look up, and find that it’s your favorite character.
Imagine that favorite character then fucking you so hard that night that you don’t think you’ll be able to stand the next...
matturday:
so I ended my english presentation with “these fatal flaws brought macbeth to his macdeath” and at least 60% of the class groaned
mycroft-holmes-approves:
sodamnrelatable:
Diet ideas: Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.
keep-it-funny:
If you are lost on what to name you’re son, just name him Jessie.
That way he can forever approach girls singing “Don’t you wish that you were Jessie’s girl” and leave with dignity.
outlaw-monarch:
deatheaters:
people rant about teenage characters being portrayed by grown up actors but i’d like to know how exactly did this happen that 65 years old alan rickman played 38 years old severus snape
me in 7th grade: unattractive, socially awkward loser.
me now: unattractive, socially awkward loser with good taste in music.
rneerkat:
andronious:
rneerkat:
a canoe and a kayak fall in love: it is a forbidden rowmance
Sounds like a beautiful…ship.
no
squeakyfangirl:
dftbhailey-42:
rainyohead:
dftbhailey-42:
rainyohead:
morrissarty:
meladoodle:
why the fuck aren’t glue sticks square so you can get the corners
you are a genius
how are you supose to screw them down if they’re square then?
maybe you could push them up?
How do you push them back down?
A lever on the side like one of those multiple-color click pens, so you...
haave-you-met-ted:
tuvw:
hey let’s play whERE THE FUCK IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM
i love the bonus round
ruraljackdaw:
psilentasincjelli:
ruraljackdaw:
voyagesofabookworm:
thatwhoviansynesthete:
wearejohnlocked:
hungarian:
do british people have a special £ key on their keyboards
how do you hashtag ??????
hashtag is over by the enter key don’t you worry your lil butt
wait
what… what do American keyboards look like then?
oh
